Why write? Why now?

Perhaps it’s because I have significantly more time on my hands these days.  Perhaps it’s because I might have a distinct perspective to offer.  Perhaps it’s because the impulse to write on a regular basis has been stirring within me for far too long, and the urge to consummate this desire can no longer be relegated to some vague point in the future.

Actually, it’s all of those reasons.

Before I elaborate, allow me a necessary aside.  I must acknowledge the extraordinary circumstances in which we currently find ourselves.  As I write this, we are in the throes of a world-wide COVID-19 pandemic, which has hit its full stride in North America over the last month.  We are effectively living in “lockdown” mode, to inhibit the spread of the virus.

Consequently, the vast majority of us are spending most of our time at home, with an abundance of free time on our hands.  For me, in addition to reading more books and expanding my exercise regimen, the time is ripe to pursue writing.

Why am I writing?  I’m doing it for myself.  I need to write, to satisfy a creative longing, regardless of how many people actually read my work.  I know that other artists and creative people will sympathize.  This need to create is something I’ve also experienced as an amateur songwriter.

For me, songwriting is an immensely gratifying experience.  I can recall spending entire days totally enraptured by writing a song.  I become obsessed with tediously constructing a melody, experimenting endlessly with chords and progressions, labouring over lyrics.  I often sense that I am no longer a creator, but a conduit for something which has grown to possess a will of its own.  The process of creating soon evolves into one of discovering, of solving a mystery.  My job is then to find the right chord, note, or transition.  And when I find it, it is exhilarating.

The same is true of writing.  Often I don’t even realize what I want to say until it’s written.  I agonize over word choices, commas, and sentence structure.  When I edit I am ruthless, meticulous, relentless.  And I love it.  Creative expression is its own reward.

I know that if I’m going to do this — not just to write, but to begin by publishing a blog — there will be risks.  First, there is the risk of self-indulgence.  Isn’t a blog just a slightly more sophisticated version of posting selfies and rants on social media?  Maybe.

Another risk is that I simply don’t have the chops.  I’m afraid that one day some smug literary vigilante will reply in the comments section of a piece I’ve written and eviscerate my work, destroying my confidence forever.  My fear is genuine.  To work up enough courage to start this blog, I had to think of all the times in my life that someone has complimented me on my writing, and I made a list.  Yes, I really did that.

Next, there is the risk of self-disclosure.  What I enjoy about songwriting is the freedom.  I can write a love song, for example, which may or may not have any correspondence to my actual life.  The narrator in a song is a character; not necessarily me.  In the format of a song (or poetry, or fiction) the risk of self-exposure is mitigated.  I can bare my soul while protected by a “narrative veil.”

However, this is a blog.  I will write non-fiction prose about my life, my experiences, my thoughts, my strange dreams.  I’m wary of saying too much, whether deliberately or inadvertently.  Many bloggers willingly parade the tantalizing details of their personal lives.  I have no interest in that, and yet there remains the risk of over-sharing, with no narrative veil to hide behind.

Finally, there is the risk that I’ll do all this work, and very few people will even read it.    While it is true that my primary goal is to write for myself, I’m also reminded of the adage to “find your audience”.  No matter how good (or bad) my work is, there will always be people who won’t like it, or care.  But there will be some who do.  I suppose I’m writing for them, too.

And so, readers, despite the risks, and now that you have a little more time, I invite you to take 3 minutes once or twice a month to read my blog.  Knowing that others are reading along will make the experience all the more gratifying.